Are You Too Special to Succeed?

 

One of the most prevalent and destructive subconscious beliefs that I see in many people
(including myself at one time) is that they are different… special… the rules don’t apply
to them.  

Now, this is a delicate and subtle area because we each are definitely unique and special,
have widely divergent skills and natural gifts, and we all are Divine beings. That
individuality is true and basic.

And, it’s that specialness and those unique gifts that are the key to our success in physical
life. Bringing out as much of your true Self as possible is required. In fact, that’s really
the focus of my own work. Lord knows I’ve spent a lifetime bucking trends and going
my own way.

A hollow kind of special…

But the authentic kind of special has little to do with your Mom telling you how great you are.
Lately the idea of “self-esteem” is being drummed into the young ones. In some healthy
cases, this is a good thing. In others, when this educational experience (programming,
really) is done poorly by unaware parents, it can produce selfish and shallow little people.
Humility isn’t thinking less of yourself; it’s thinking more of others.

That kind of a sense of self-worth hasn’t come from accomplishment or self-acceptance,
but from outside programming. Thus it has no firm internal framework. “Self esteem”,
then, collapses when there is not constant external validation from other people.

When the self-esteem collapses, the person can become bitter, angry, and depressed. The
programming won’t allow them to think that perhaps they aren’t the apple of everyone’s
eye. Therefore, it must be the people around them that are wrong. Not just a few
people… all people.

Observe: I have an acquaintance who is retired. His career was with a large global entity,
and he was moved around on a regular basis. He says that everywhere he went, the
people didn’t like him… they were all ignorant bastards. Hello? Now, I don’t know his
childhood history, but I would bet a week’s pay that his mommy really doted on him.

Even worse…

Then of course there’s the more subtle kind of special; the kind that masquerades as
humility, self-doubt, fear. “I see people just like me who are succeeding. I must be the
only one who can’t seem to get ahead. I’m different.” Sound familiar?

If you’re thinking that way, you be screwed, my friend. This is a story you tell yourself
to avoid doing what it takes. Of course, just as the false self-esteem can be programmed
into your belief system, so can the lack of it. Or you may have come by it by failing
more than once, or by giving up. No matter where this feeling of negative specialness
comes from, it’s tough to recognize in ourselves… unless it is pointed out. Which is why
I wrote this article.
Being solidly programmed into us, the feelings of being special become a need. We feel
a need to be special. But because of that programming, we express that neediness in the
most comfortable way; not by doing excellent things, but by staying in the comfort zone
of helplessness. The Law of Attraction might be real, but it doesn’t apply to me. That
course I took worked for a lot of people… but not for me. Never mind that you didn’t do
all the work that the course required. It wouldn’t have worked anyway. Right?

Yeah, if you say so. You’re the most evil and stupid person on the planet. You’re
special that way.

It’s a kind of masochism. Something in you just loves feeling small – if nothing works
for you, it doesn’t make sense to try and do much of anything, right? That is a part of
you to be understood, loved, accepted… and then scraped off your shoe at the earliest
opportunity.