Most of us have a few issues that, for whatever reason, really get us steamed. Sometimes they’re very clear; and sometimes something will happen or someone will say something that just rubs us the wrong way, and we can feel that sick feeling of anger, sadness, resentment welling up in our solar plexus and aren’t really sure why.
It pays to dig down and really examine the roots of theses automatic reactions, because not only are those reactions bad for us physically, emotionally and mentally; they also reveal our true image of ourselves. The information we can gain from such an examination can be extremely useful in our quest for not only a happier life, but in our path of spiritual advancement as well.
A few examples are in order, and as always I can use my own experiences to best illustrate the concept.
Firstly, we can take comfort and pride in looking at what it is that possibly might be expected to upset us but doesn’t, because by knowing what we handle well, and how and why, we can apply those same methods to the circumstances that do upset our applecarts. For example, upon occasion I’ve had people tell me that I’m stupid. This was usually done in a clumsy attempt to retaliate for some real or perceived offense, and was simply meant to be a weapon to make me feel bad. But I can’t ever remember being upset by being told that I’m stupid…because in my heart of hearts, I know I’m not. Far from it, in fact. I know there are a lot of things I don’t know and can’t even comprehend (I’m not a math whiz, for instance), but I know for sure that my ability to take observations and facts, retain them, and later use very disparate pieces of information to arrive at correct conclusions, is quite good. So this kind of comment just makes me laugh.
On the other hand, in the past if I found myself “without voice”…in other words, being ignored when I was trying to join a conversation or add my opinion or a piece of missing information I felt I had, I felt that tightness in my stomach, and the resentment immediately, automatically popped into my consciousness. In this case, part of the trigger was linked to my knowledge that I consider myself smart. The energy around my distress was, “how dare they ignore me – I have something valuable to add. Screw them!”. Often, this reaction caused me to take the vindictive route and withdraw completely, witholding whatever contribution I could have made out of spite. This, of course, was a lose-lose move. Whoever it was lost the benefit of my input, I lost the opportunity to make a contribution, and the withdrawing actually made me feel worse.
Eventually, I came to see that this reaction was unreasonable. People are people, and there doesn’t always need to be a deep, dark reason that they appeared to be ignoring me. Perhaps they were simply too engrossed in expressing their own ideas; maybe they needed time to process what others were telling them; or possibly, they were simply rude and took little heed to anyone, not just me. But in my anger, I saw the situation as being all about me, and that’s what caused my pain. What it boils down to is universal: no one else can cause us pain…it’s our reaction to situations and the way we choose to perceive things that hurts us. Once I went outside myself and took the long view, it became clear that being ignored was just not important at all, and retaliating by withholding my gifts was just…stupid. 🙂
What this taught me was as stated above: that I can choose whatever reaction I want at any time. I would have never learned that lesson had it not been for the sickly, bitter feelings I’d experienced. This is a very important lesson indeed, because it allows us to work our way through tough times without becoming stuck in our bad feelings. As well, the further lesson became that we should honor and have gratitude for our negative experiences, because they are pointers to whatever it is we need to learn in this lifetime.
Now, I should add that when I finally had my own Soul Realignment and clearing done awhile back, it was discovered that I’d had a program running at soul level that had been implanted by a negative entity, and this was actually making it difficult for me to express myself and adding to my frustration. Thus, my bad feelings were not only caused to some extent by outside influences, but at the same time were feeding this entity a ready supply of dark energy – a viscious cycle. But again, the lesson is that we can be grateful for even the outside negativities that are “victimizing” us, because trying to deal with those feelings did lead to my learning a few lessons.
When you find yourself repeatedly reacting badly to certain kinds of situations or perceived offenses, take a step back and try to understand why it is you feel this way and whether it really makes sense. Chances are, you’ll see that it has a much deeper meaning, a deeper root, a clue to how you view yourself and your reality, and a wider lesson that will serve you in many other areas of life.
Hi Mecedes,
Well, unfortunately it’s all about self-control. 🙂 Best way is to be alert for when it begins to happen, and try just a little to control it. It takes practice just ilek anyhting else. Remember, nothing can hurt you without your permission.
Hi Michael, long time no hear- I know I’ve been busy, tired, and working a lot. This topic is very interesting to me because when I get upset I feel it in the pit of my stomach and it feels as if it is just moving in a circular motion, most of the time I have to rub my stomach to ease the pain.It’s hard to catch yourself before exploding because it happens so suddenly next thing you know you all out of character saying and doing things you shouldn’t be doing(well that’s my case). I deal with people all day and it is not easy people can drive you insane, literally if you have no self- control.