You Are a No-Good, Dirty Rotten Liar!

 

Lately I’ve been doing some more rigorous filtering of the people I’ll work with. It’s not that I don’t have good clients already; it’s more a change in my attitude toward my work.

Honestly, when I started out I was like most people who want to work independently: if you were breathing and could pay my fee, you were my ideal client. Sometimes that lead to some unpleasant surprises both for me and for the client. Later on when I realized that my job wasn’t primarily about the money but service, I began to look more closely for people who were better qualified to benefit from my stuff.

For the most part, I quit doing “readings” and began really helping people with my coaching program. For one thing, they pre-qualified themselves simply by making the decision; they were willing to invest in themselves, and so were prime suspects to be able to use what I had to offer. You can say all you want about equal energy exchange and all that… but in simple human terms, if you pay pretty good money for something, you’re more likely to actually use it.

But beyond that, I’ve found a rule of thumb that works every time. It’s very simple: if a prospective client tells me even just one time during our “discovery” call that he or she knows that the problems all have their roots inside themselves (as opposed to being imposed by some outside force), then I know they’re ready. The other people… well, they just can’t see clearly yet.

When the ancient primitive peoples saw something that they just couldn’t explain otherwise, they made up myths and metaphors and voila’ – that became the explanation for generations to come.

Likewise, when we can’t solve an issue in our life, our minds try to come up with a reason for that difficulty. A lot of creativity is wasted on these excuses.

 

• “I just can’t”. This is probably the low point – you’re not even giving a reason for that. Well, why can’t you? Are you simply afraid? That’s an excuse, not a reason. And if it’s true, then why aren’t you working on something that’s more do-able?

• “I don’t have the skills!”. Derr… well then, get them. And if it’s something that would take years to get good at, begin with something else. But again, make absolutely certain that you’re not seeing an illusion and thinking it’s a life mission. Think of the first rounds of “American Idol”. See people who think they can sing but are awful?   They have an illusion they’re following.

• “It works for everyone else but me!”... so you’re special. Poor pitiful you… the only one in the world who doesn’t benefit from the course, the practice, the book. Honestly, stop whining. It’s you, not the course. Maybe it wasn’t a match, maybe you didn’t really do everything you were supposed to do. Keep going until it does work.

• “I surrender! I’ll accept my fate – I’m supposed to learn humility and so I’ll never get anywhere.” Please… you weren’t created to suffer. But you also didn’t come here to give up like a pussy. Surrender to the reality of the moment – it exists (for you) and it’s real. That’s the Truth (for you). But once you’ve accepted where you are, you don’t sit back and wait for whatever next. You go make whatever’s next.

• “I’m ______ (too old, too young, too fat, too ugly, timid, stupid, afraid)_____to do it”. More bullshit. You are the only thing that you can really change, so none of those descriptions is accurate unless you say they are. We’re all self-made men and women.

• “I’m just not the kind of person who can do and be what I’d like to be.” Where this one falls apart is that if you want it, the way to get it exists. That’s universal Law. You might not like the way, but it exists for sure. Plus, you certainly can’t change other people, so if there is to be improvement guess where we begin.

This is where you must experience one of the most profound changes possible: the death of a major part of you. Your ego has built a story of who you are and what you can do. But under your direction, it can build an entirely new, better story and it will be as real as the old one. It’s very painful killing that off, but it must be done. You can do it. You can be someone else and still be yourself. Think on it.

Speaking of death, I was thinking about it as a sort of mini-death, and I thought of the French la petite mort, which literally means little death. But guess what: it’s a euphemism for orgasm. That’s right. Sweet release; killing those parts of you that are no damn good is like the Big O. Almost painfully intense at first, but then euphoric. Ah, kick back. Smoke ’em if ya got ’em. 🙂

Cut the crap. It’s the only way to begin. And as you proceed, you’ll step in other soft spots in the road. Dig the crap out of them and fill the holes with reality – your reality, the way you want it.